You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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