so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
