everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Panties = found
Randomize