I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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