I wish my penis had an off switch
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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