the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
