you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
