it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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