Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry about my life...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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