I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
