hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
