I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
