I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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