and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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