My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
