Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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