I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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