There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
