No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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