Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
