do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
