Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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