dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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