I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
whose ass print is on the piano?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
