I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
