Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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