Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
