Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
