This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
