Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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