i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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