btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
