and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love you. Go after that dick
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
