i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
