Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
