The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
