...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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