so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
