google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
