sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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