it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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