Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize