We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
