My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
