Did you just see the Batmobile???
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
