watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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