On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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