He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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