i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
