Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
