I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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