remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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