There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
