He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
