Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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